To read this blog in order start at July right at the top of the blog archive and progress down in order. This is an account of my battle with anorexia and bulimia

Wednesday 20 July 2011

1995 - year of freedom

This felt pretty weird. It didn’t hit me at first that I wouldn’t be returning to school because it was just as though it was school holidays. We saw Jo (from Katoomba) a considerable amount over the holidays. Jo, Mim and I went on a holiday to Coffs Harbour together to see her Dad with her. It was an alright kind of holiday. Her dad was a bit on the strange side so we were wary of him.
It wasn’t long after Jo left Tamworth that Mim went down to Sydney to visit a friend. She also visited Jo in that space of time. Mum and I had the whole week to ourselves. Mum and I cooked together, went into town a few times, and also hired out videos to watch together. Before Mim came home mum said she was glad to have spent this week with me to get to know each other again. It was fun too. When Mim came back, Jo was with her to stay for a while. She only stayed for 5 days and then we decided I go back to Katoomba with her.
Having nothing to do seemed weird but good in a way. I was making the most of being able to travel around and just relax. I didn’t have any ideas really on what I wanted to do. I did want to work with animals, and enrolled in a Tafe course for this. This wasn’t to start until a couple of weeks so I made the most of my free time.
Staying in Katoomba was fun. I didn’t worry about eating too much, and I had no one keeping watch on me. Once again I felt free. I contemplated contacting Charles and Lana again seeing as we lost contact with them since we lived with them in 1991. I was nervous about doing this, but since I valued their friendship I went about to find them. They had since moved to Lawson in what used to be a convent. Now they had three children, all boys. Lana was surprised but happy to hear from me. We arranged a time to meet up, which was dinnertime at their house. Lana got the biggest shock of her life when she saw me and how much weight I had lost. She asked a few questions about it but I wasn’t too willing to speak. I enjoyed seeing them after all these years and decided I would do my best to stay in contact with them.
I left for home the next day. I didn’t want to go back home at all. On the bus trip home I felt home sick for the mountains, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I dreamed about moving down here and finding a flat with Jo. I thought I could also take Wolfgang with me. I knew however that this was only a dream because in no way was it practical at this point of time.
Mim had started a hairdressing course at tech with her best friend Rachel. My course was yet to start, so in the mean time I applied for jobs. My attempts were futile though, as I wasn’t exactly putting my heart into it. I spent a fair amount of time with Wolfgang trying to train him as the lady at the kennels had taught us to do, but it appeared a waste of time. He was becoming larger and a lot more uncontrollable. Sometimes he ended up bowling me over. He was dragged constantly back and forth to the kennels for more training lessons. All of which did nothing for him. Eventually we realised we couldn’t cope with him and that he would be better off with people who could handle him better. It was sad at the time, but also a relief.

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