To read this blog in order start at July right at the top of the blog archive and progress down in order. This is an account of my battle with anorexia and bulimia

Tuesday 19 July 2011

year 5 - 1987

Grade 5, 1987.
I had my first periods this year. I was absolutely horrified. It happened at the beginning of the year when we had swimming lessons for sport at school. I only discovered it when we were getting changed and did not know what to do. All I remembered was mum telling Mim that when she had her periods not to go swimming. So, I went to the teacher and made up some excuse that I forgot my swimmers. I never told a soul about them, and prayed they wouldn’t come back. My prayer was answered for at least half a year because they did not return. But when they did I felt so sick from them that I realised I had to tell mum. She was rather concerned and motherly about the issue explaining everything, giving me what I needed including panadol and hot water bottles, and even kept me home from school. However, I was too embarrassed to talk much about it with her. I could not believe this was happening to me. No one at school knew which was a great relief because I just could not face it if they did know.
Sometime in the middle of this year a family moved in to a house down the road from us. They had two daughters Tarsha and Julie. Over a few weeks we all became friends. Tarsha was the youngest one and Julie was actually In between Mim’s and my ages. We spent heaps of time together at each other’s houses just playing games and doing stuff. I flitted between hanging around Tarsha, then spending time with Mim and Julie. Tarsha was fun to do kid stuff with, but Mim and Julie appeared to have more fun together. I actually preferred hanging around just Mim and Julie, and soon it was just the three of us who just hung out. We always were nicknamed by anyone who saw us all together all the time and some people even thought we were sisters. Being with this little group probably impacted on me quite a lot over the years but without realising it.
Just a few weeks after meeting them, my grade went on a school camp on at Lake Keepit. It was like a camp to get to know others in the grade, and to find out things about our selves. We filled out questions about what we like and don’t like. My dislike was something along the lines of Mim laughing at me. One of the sheets we had to complete was titled Getting to Know Your Feelings. I wrote that I felt loved when people care. On another sheet titled Who Am I one of the questions was three things to wish for. The only answer I had was to stay little. Chloe and I had heaps of fun together. We were both the teacher’s favourites. Coming home was somewhat disappointing. Mum said she missed me but not as much as she would have missed Mim. This was obviously upsetting to hear. She tried to clarify her point by stating I was the more outgoing one and she need not worry about me. It wasn’t exactly the best homecoming I’ve ever had.

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