To read this blog in order start at July right at the top of the blog archive and progress down in order. This is an account of my battle with anorexia and bulimia

Sunday 28 August 2011

Moving on and becoming independent

Now that I was earning more money, I felt it was time to move on and find a place to live. I knew also that Charles and Laba were going to be moving soon, away from the mountains. This meant I needed a place to live as I could no longer stay there once they moved. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be on my own or to flat with another person. I read one ad in the local paper about a girl looking for a person to share with her. I went and had a look at it, and it was actually pretty good. She sounded quite positive about me moving in so I got my hopes up. A few days later she rang and left a message on the answering machine that she decided her boyfriend will be staying there, so I wasn’t able to move in. I was a bit lost about this because I was scared I would have no where else to go. I took the initiative and wrote out my own ad to place in the local supermarket.
About one week later I gave up, and prayed that God will help me find somewhere to live soon. I wasn’t as faithful as I probably should have been, I was more anxious than anything. Little did I know that where God guides, He provides. One day at work a girl rang up and wanted to know more about my ad. I couldn’t tell her much as I was at work, so I quickly got her phone number and told her I would ring later.
And that I did. We had a great conversation. We clicked instantly, then throughout the conversation found out that each other were Christians. We both knew from that, that we were meant to live together. We arranged to meet up on Friday. My biggest fear was that she would be really skinny and she would think I was fat. I considered my wardrobe carefully about what to meet her in so I wouldn’t look fat.
I got off the train to meet her, and to my blessing she was a normal person. We looked at a few houses that day, then went out for dinner. I felt comfortable eating with her because she so did not discuss food, or weight or anything like that. Being with a person who was comfortable with themselves was very comforting. Although the only thing with that was that I formed some bad habits for myself.
I actually was happy for a while. I was beginning to form new friendships, going out for dinner, having fun. I actually looked forwards to the nights we arranged with friends to go out for dinner. I can’t really remember how I felt about dinner while I ate it, but the fact that I actually wanted to eat it was something. I didn’t think about food every second of the day. I had other things to worry about like finding a house to live in with Melinda.
Eventually we found one, and also another flat mate, Katherine. It was all so exciting. We had the date set for moving out the following year, and boxes were starting to get packed. I never realised how moving out with others would affect my weight. Control over living equalled loss of control in that department. It was like a whole new life

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